I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
