That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
