She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
