Do you still have your period?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
