my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
