just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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