Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
