ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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