What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
