Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How naked do you want me to be?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
