At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize