I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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