I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
