I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
