Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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