Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
