I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
