it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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