omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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