dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
