I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
