You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
