I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
