Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
