Pappa wants mamma naked
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
