So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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