Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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