If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
