You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
