so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
