At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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