I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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