is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
