Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
