I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
A bitchslap is in order.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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