Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
