please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
