is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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