So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Bring me that man meat
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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