Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
