Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
