I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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