brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
