I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
