omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
