i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
