I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
