She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wish i was in the wii world.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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