is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
