thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
