I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
