Sry I called you an 8
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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