I should be sponsored by Trojan
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
