your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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