would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize