winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think my moral compass just broke
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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