I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
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