I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
