Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
