Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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