Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
