We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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