i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
