You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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