Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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