fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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